Do you think everyone else knows how to pray? You are not alone if you think this. Prayer is something we are often not taught. How often do we sit and kneel in church looking at other people and wondering what it is they are doing in their silent prayers? They always look so holy and yet here we are, trying to say something to God …

Do you feel like giving up? Don’t! Prayer is like every human skill. It is something that we need to learn how to do. We can use books, or ask a friend, or seek the guidance of a priest. But, in many ways, prayer is something that we do have to find out about for ourselves. God has made us all different, and so we will all pray differently. We will also pray differently in different situations.

What is prayer? Prayer is the way in which we keep in touch with God. Many people think that they can change God: ‘If I ask really nicely, then God will do what I want.’ For others, prayer is a form of magic: ‘If I say it in the right way then God will answer.’ Neither of these is true. Prayer is the way in which we open up to God, so that God can work in us. And God does always answer, although not always in the way that we want.

What is prayer like? If you love someone, you keep in touch. Prayer is the same. If we love God, we stay in touch. We talk to God and we listen to God. It’s a conversation!

How do we get in touch with God? To begin our conversation with God we need to get ready: to come consciously into God’s presence, to sit or kneel in a way that is comfortable and attentive. Then we need to calm down. Normally, our minds are full of distractions; thoughts just keep happening. One way of calming down is to listen to our breathing, the regular pattern of it. Another way is to repeat over and over, ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ After a while we settle down, our minds are less full, and then we are ready to pray.

When we are calm, then we can start to pray. Sometimes, this just means continuing to listen, just letting the awareness of God enfold us, like loving arms – we don’t need to say anything else, the contact is enough. At other times we need to say something, This can be anything: ‘Dear Father…’ or ‘Hello God…’ If you are going to say something (whether aloud or silently), then just say what you want to say. God doesn’t stand on ceremony.

We need to take time to say what we want: ‘Thank you.’ ‘Sorry.’ ‘Guess what?’ ‘I love you.’ Take time to listen – to your breathing, to your thoughts and feelings. Be aware of yourself and don’t push it. Give God time to speak to you. Conversations take time … and patience.

Traditionally, Christians pray every morning and evening. The more we are in touch, the better it gets. The more time we take, the more rewarding it can be. As we pray regularly, the more natural prayer becomes.

‘What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit!
O what needless pain we bear!
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!

The Lord’s Prayer:
Though there are many versions and interpretations of the Bible, the Lord’s Prayer remains much the same and sets a pattern for our own prayers. Speaking to our Father in Heaven should be much like speaking to someone in the room, as He is there in spirit. It should be personal, intimate and all disclosing of the thoughts in our minds and the feelings in our hearts.

From the King James Bible, Matthew 6:9-13, these are the words of the Lord’s Prayer:

After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.

If we break this down we can see the pattern more clearly:

After this manner therefore pray ye: This discloses that this is the pattern or way we are to pray, not by rote, by following these guidelines.

Our Father which art in heaven. Hallowed be thy name: We should begin our prayer by acknowledging that God is our Father in heaven and that we honour him. This is an important step in humbling yourself before him and telling him that he is our God and we trust in his words and wisdom.

Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven: We let God know that we understand he is still in charge, that his kingdom will roll forth and that it is his will and not our own that we are to listen and obey. It is that same authority that was, and is, used to govern his home in heaven. At this point we should acknowledge all that he has done for us, all the bounteous blessings he has provided for our good, all the trials that he has blessed us with in order for us to learn what we need to learn, and every good thing in our lives.

Give us this day our daily  bread: We petition God for our needs and the righteous desires of our hearts, not our whims or worldly desires. Our daily bread could include harmony in our homes. Patience, more holiness in speech and actions, the ability to support ourselves and our families, all the things that are daily necessities for our growth and salvation.

And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors: We should lay before God our sins and transgressions asking for forgiveness and for the strength to forgive everyone who has wronged us. This could also be financial debts, but includes so much more. This is our opportunity to repent for our weakness, our thoughtlessness, and our disobedience.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: We pray to God fervently for guidance in our walk and the power to overcome the evils that impede our paths. We pray that our self-mastery will be enough to conquer the adversary and keep us out of hot water!

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen: We close our prayer by, once again, acknowledging that this is God’s kingdom and that he has all the power. The glory of what we do belongs to him for all that he provides for us. We should close in the holy name of Jesus Christ, our saviour and redeemer, and the only way back to our Father.

We are so blessed to know the goodness of God and the way he has prepared for us to return to him. Prayer is an essential part of that plan. Daily honest communication with our Heavenly Father keeps us in tune to the spirit, forces us to be honest with ourselves about our shortcomings, allows us to repent for them, blesses us with an accounting and acknowledgement of our many blessings which is particularly important on days when we think we have nothing and bonds us with deity.

So have:

Conversation with God.
Become familiar with prayer as conversation that involves a delightful rhythm of asking God questions and waiting on God for responses.

Pray with authenticity.
Understand that praying authentically involves expressing doubts and fears as well as truth, believing God can give strength and grace.

Make requests of God in terms of God’s concerns, not just our own.

Listen to God in prayer.
To bring our questions to God, being open to God’s answers and obeying what we hear.

Pray for others as Jesus did.
To make intercession by praying for others’ oneness with God, not ‘patching up’ folks or getting them to do what we think they should do.

Practice God’s presence.
Practice prayer that infuses all of life as we practice the presence of God.